Sometimes We Just Need Help!

People with joined handsIt’s no mistake that I love using a holistic approach in my coaching.

Getting my mind, body and spirit working together changed my life. But only because they had been so disconnected when I was a young adult. Somewhere early in life, on some unspoken level, I decided it was best to ignore what was happening in my body. It wasn’t until I got older that I recognized the problems that kind of disconnect caused. So I set out on the road to reintegration and it has made all the difference. Today when I work with clients, I encourage them to gently reconnect with their bodies, still their minds and listen to their spirits.

Anyone who has traveled a similar path won’t be surprised to hear what comes next.

A couple months ago I went on a hike that produced a tweak in my back. Then a couple days later I came down with a virus. Together they set off a perfect storm that launched two months of progressively increasing pain. I used many of my tried and true self-care practices, but frankly, forgot to practice some of the others. When I finally accepted that instead of getting better I was getting worse, I started reaching out for help.

Mending has been a gradual process aided by a great support network. The most instructive moment – and maybe the funniest – happened a few days ago. I went for a massage for the first time in a long time. I told the massage therapist about the events that I thought had triggered the back pain but as she started working, she clearly saw something I didn’t. She asked about what had been going on with me leading up to the injury. She wondered if I’d had additional stress, if my work load had changed or something challenging had been going on. I simply couldn’t identify anything except my tendency to carry tension in my neck and shoulders.  

Then within ten minutes of listening to her calm, soft voice and feeling the steady pressure of her hands on my shoulders and back, I suddenly realized I’d completely discounted several possible causes for the tension in my body. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how easily I had slipped into that old place and the relief I felt to recognize it. I’m in the beginning of a new training program. I recently made some shifts in my business model and decided to move my office. A friend is in his final days of life after a serious accident. Yep – I have a few things going on. And yet, it took the support of a trusted guide to facilitate the magic of that mind, body, spirit alignment.

There’s a reason humans live in communities.

We’re just not built to do it all alone.

We need the knowledge and insight that others provide. We need their expertise and their perspective. We need support when we face challenges and a loving presence in the midst of loss. Even in familiar territory, we can sometimes lose our way.

So we go to yoga classes and sit with friends around dinner tables. We visit our doctors, coaches, and massage therapists. We gather in meeting rooms and classrooms and school gyms. We bring dinners to grieving friends and sit silently when our simple presence is what’s needed most. We share our stories, our laughter, our tears.

Even if we could manage it all on our own (and sometimes I try – maybe you do too), our lives are made richer through the circle of support we call community.

Sometimes all we need is a gentle reminder to ask for help.

But if your body has resorted to shouting or your heart is aching with grief, don’t wait, reach out for help today.

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  1. Grace Mendez August 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm #

    I love your reminder to reach out when we need help, even if we think we don’t really need it.

    I had been cutting my own hair (just trimming it) for the last couple of years and finally went for a real hair cut last week. Wow. What a big difference going to some one who knows what they are doing. I won’t be trying to do it myself anymore.

    You are right about not being built to do it all alone.

    • Kelly August 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

      Thanks Grace. Plus – isn’t it just more fun when we let other people get involved?!


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