How to Get From Uncertainty to Contentment

Certainty and security used to be important to me.

Illusive but important. I’ve noticed that my search for these has been absent for a long time, and from where I sit today, I think it might be gone for good. In this moment, that’s ok.

Don’t get me wrong, I have the security of a home and the certainty that I will eat well today. I know that much of the world’s population doesn’t have these basic necessities and I’m grateful for the blessings in my life. 

The certainty that is missing today, the same certainty that I craved in the past, is the kind that’s driven by a longing to defend against what might happen and anticipating the worst of what’s possible. It’s the need to be well-prepared for potential crisis, when none is at hand. The hard part is, when I’m in that space, I firmly believe danger is right around the corner. That kind of need for security motivates me to work hard, to rush without rest. It tells me to watch diligently, seek out any hint of risk. It’s exhausting and unproductive. It doesn’t serve me, nor anyone who shares my life.

What I told myself was that I was being responsible. Planning ahead. Being prepared.  

In fact, that craving for security was covering a distorted level of fear.

A fear of something that existed only in my mind. A ghost. An illusion. So like the frightful imaginings of a child in a dark and shadowy bedroom.Image: Nomadic Lass via Flickr

Sometimes that kind of anxiety and worry just becomes a habit. Sometimes we convince ourselves it’s a virtue. I’m guessing it’s not bringing you any more peace or joy than it did me.

The path out is simple.

A few deep breaths (seriously, stop now, take a few deep breaths) and a couple questions, begin to put things back in perspective. Am I in any physical danger at this moment? Is there a crisis happening right now? Usually, the answer is no.  Any when it’s yes – there’s just no space for worry. Our natural instincts and intelligence take over and whatever action is needed becomes clear.

The more I live with my full attention in this present moment, the more I see the moonlight that’s casting the shadows.

The more I choose to be where my feet are, the less I need certainty and the more at home I feel in the flow of life. The more I choose to feel the breath in my lungs, the sun on my skin, or the touch of a friend’s hand, the more I find what is real.

In that space, I know with confidence, the next right step. I take action with a clear mind and a peaceful heart.

And I feel the comfort of knowing that’s enough. 

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  1. Winnie March 8, 2012 at 3:00 am #

    I love this Kelly. I’d like to give this weblink to Susan and Mary if that’s okay with you? Thanks for the hugs tonight. See you Friday at lunch… Love, Winnie

  2. Kelly March 8, 2012 at 3:06 am #

    Thanks Winnie. I’d love to have you pass it on! They can sign up for my newsletter at my website if they’d like to receive them directly.

    Deep breaths & eyes on the moonlight!

    • Winnie March 8, 2012 at 3:08 am #

      Will do. Hey, it’s tomorrow already?

    • Winnie March 8, 2012 at 3:09 am #

      Shared it with them just a few minutes ago. 🙂

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