Feeling Stuck? Here are 5 Helpful Paths to Freedom

Sitting at the threshold of change can be excruciating. Especially when it calls you to make a decision that you just can’t, or aren’t ready to make.

That place of indecision, inner conflict & feeling stuck is one of the most challenging ingredients of transitional periods in our lives.

Kelly Burkhart, Life Coach

Photo Credit: annca via Pixabay

As humans we like having a clear path, to know where we’re going, to feel an amount of certainty. Even when logically we know certainty, on some level, is an illusion – we still want it. Our society lauds confidence, self-assurance and action. It’s hard to be with the pain of inner conflict – it’s unpleasant and most of us aren’t taught how to meet it in a way that’s helpful. We may be getting additional pressure from external sources. People who love us may have difficulty seeing us in pain and be urging us to move on.

The problem is, all this pressure and pushing to get unstuck, can cause it to anchor in more deeply.

There is another way.

There are gentler paths that can ease the pressure and offer you some breathing room. In an environment of ease and expansiveness, clarity and decision-making will emerge in their own natural time and rhythm.

  1. Make friends with your body. Notice your physical needs. Are you getting enough rest, healthy foods, exercise? First and foremost, treat your body with respect and kindness. If you see you need an adjustment in your self-care, don’t use that as one more reason to force or berate yourself. Nurture your body, mind and spirit with compassion. Let your actions come from a sincere desire to treat yourself with love. One of the natural stress responses is to freeze. I’ve offered additional practices for working with the fight/flight/freeze response here, and here, and here. Try them out & see what’s helpful to you.
  2. Move. Motion changes the energy – in body and in the mind. Take yourself (or the dog, if you need some added motivation) for a walk. Get up from your desk, if that’s where you spend much of your day, and make a cup of tea, talk with a co-worker, put in a load of laundry if you work from home. Take a different route to work; shop at a different grocery store this week. Dance. Play with a child and mirror their movements. Add some extra movement into your life, especially something that’s out of the ordinary, and notice what you notice.  That movement and novelty is like a breath of fresh air and a gateway to the energy-rich experience of curiosity.
  3. Listen for your inner wisdom. Practice 1 & 2 regularly and you may find that’s all you need for the confusion to begin to melt. This is a perfect time to listen for inner signals, the subtle whispers that are calling you toward a new path. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself a regular time for quiet, unstructured, alone time. And listen. With acceptance for whatever shows up, you’ll make room for that inner wisdom to begin to speak.
  4. Reality check. Do you really have to make a decision right now? Be realistic about firm deadlines – if there are any. Ask a good friend, one not inclined to pressure you, to help you out with this step so the should’s don’t distort your assessment.
  5. Love those inner-selves. Observe your inner process. Is there a part of you that wants one thing and another part that wants the opposite. Let yourself really feel into what’s going on internally. Notice, observe, question. Are they really opposites? Is there a third path? Or a fourth? Or a fifth? Name & attend to the needs of these conflicting inner selves. Love them all. Love the frozen one, love the demanding one, love the one that’s torn between the others. Send genuine kindness and love to them all and watch the struggle begin to melt.
  6. Ok, one extra as a bonus. Remember you’re not alone. Countless others have been right where you are. They understand what you’re going through even if they’re not sitting next to you in this moment. Ultimately, we’re all in the boat of human existence together. Don’t forget that.

Be gentle with yourself, my friend.

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply